Rashid! We have great news!
Someone has died.
Another pre-med poli-sci double major killed himself.
That is the 12th double major this year.
Why are you smiling?
Well, we can't bring him back from the dead,
but we can welcome you to sleep in the dead man's bed.
He was in Bechet.
Are you not next on the waiting list?
Right.
That's great.
Finally, you will be out of Armstrong-Parker
and with your people.
The Nigerians and the Kenyans have all but taken over the second floor.
The white kids started calling it "Little Africa."
Which is great because none of them go up there.
And I started calling the other floors "Little Colonizers."
But all I got in return was a nasty email from the RA.
The answer is no.
What do you mean, no?
I'm a paying customer. I want my six shots.
The FDA prohibits us from exceeding the three-shot limit.
I'm taking a rigorous 18-unit course load so that I can become somebody.
Eighteen.
That sounds like my summer vacation.
You know, it's really not healthy to drink so much coffee.
Let me get you some Adderall.
I'll take two cups, three shots each.
You get one cup, two shots.
Now beat it.
Hello, Shid.
Hello, kings.
Oh, you guys really should try this.
It's brand-new.
It's chocolate decadence.
Like me.
With a little bit of peanut butter. Can I get you something else?
Black tea.
What sick American thought that peanut butter and chocolate go together?
I mean, they separate their people, but they mix their foods.
What I don't understand is why Rashid is not more excited.
Aren't you sick of the Coming to America accent
that the black Americans think is how we talk?
A-P is growing on me.
I made friends there.
Are we not also your friends?
What on earth could Armstrong-Parker have that we in Bechet don't?
...it's the one and only Joelle Brooks,
helping you get your spring quarter started right.
Feminism literally means equality,
but a lot of people think it's just anti-men, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's like, when I talk about how great an '08 Malbec is,
that doesn't mean all other wine is trash.
Just Merlot.
Odd qualifier, but yes.
Um, similar to the Black Lives Matter argument.
Totally.
Except, I will say, this idea that somehow white women are to blame for racism
isn't helping bring us together.
Well, but there's a blind spot there.
Sure, the patriarchy keeps us all down,
but white women have to acknowledge their privilege.
Yeah, I just think the anger is misdirected.
These assholes defending rape culture are the ones we should take down.
"How will my son grow up in a world if he can't sexually assault a woman?"
Boo-hoo. Fucking narcissists.
Part of getting the show back was agreeing to stop cursing.
This situation is infuriating.
I mean, aren't you mad?
I am, I just can't express it the way you can.
What do you mean?
It's the angry black woman problem.
As soon as black Barbie puts on her Angela Davis outfit,
they want to send her to My Little Dream Prison.
You just got to lean in.
You cannot put limits on yourself like that.
Speaking of limits, unfortunately that's all the time we have for today.
Really?
- Shit, that went so fast. - Still live.
- Hey. - Hey.
Where you been? I was hoping you'd warm the Dear White People couch this morning.
- Yeah, I wish I could have been there. - Okay, do you need some help?
Um, at this point, it doesn't matter.
- My doc is literally killing me. - Okay.
Uh, "literally"?
Is it terminal? Should we set up a GoFundMe?
Look, I'm sorry I haven't been around. I just...
This project is taking longer than I thought.
I...
I honestly have no idea what I'm doing.
Wait, is making art that matters hard?
Yeah, what the fuck?
Well, you're already stressed,
so it's good you didn't hear Muffy on the show.
- She would've definitely set you off. - Oh, Lord.
Girl, she had the nerve to say black women should just lean in
and not limit ourselves.
Telling black women to lean in is like telling Shamu to think positively.
Wait, I vaguely remember him from childhood.
Is... Shamu not okay?
No, bitch, Shamu is not okay.
Oh, my God.
Well, you do know this is Muffy you're talking about, right?
She pulled herself up by her Manolo straps.
Tell me you set her straight.
This is why I needed you on the show today!
I'm sorry.
You know I've got Clair Huxtable syndrome.
I have to be flawless and...
no one can see me sweat or hear me fart.
So am I supposed to pretend that taco night doesn't happen?
- Yes, bitch, especially right now. - Okay.
- Hey, boo. - Hey.
Hi.
Hey.
So is this finally the day Sam White returns to Caucus?
It's... Uh... If...
You know what? She has this crazy doc she's been working on.
- It's become, like, a 24/7 gig. - It's...
- Uh, have... See you later. - Yep.
Finally.
What's that about?
Factions.
I think they're planning a coup.
They think I'm using them for my own agenda.
Some definite COINTELPRO shit.
My own members are calling me a megalomaniac.
That is the social media handle you've had since high school.
It's ironic, Rashid.
Black AF is dead weight to Caucus.
You know what?
The only group that's not a hot-ass mess right now is CORE.
I propose you all fold under CORE for the rest of the year
until you get your shit together.
Small government. I like it.
Hold on. There's no protocol for folding the groups into one organization.
That's undemocratic. Like, Mussolini-level undemocratic.
And what do you suggest? We all hold hands?
Create protocol.
We don't have any bylaws as a joint caucus.
We should draft some and then vote.
Fine.
You can get us a draft by our next meeting.
- All in favor, say aye. - Aye.
With great power comes a shitload of homework.
Proud of you.
Joelle.
I would be happy to help you write the bylaws.
I love rules.
And in fact, I actually enjoy playing Monopoly
the way the Parker Brothers intended.
They were the twins on our street who owned the game.
- That's nice. - Yeah. Uh-huh.
Thanks, Rashid, but we got it.
Too many chefs in the kitchen might slow down the process, you know?
Okay, well, let me know if anything changes.
- For sure. I'll shoot you a text. - Okay.
How's it coming?
Honestly, it's a mess right now,
but nothing we can't figure out.
I'll be okay.
- Look at flowers to your heart's content. - Ah...
This is my footage.
Which is...
maybe a problem.
So are you moving on to trees?
I have... humans...
too, and...
they're saying things.
- Still no ideas? - Yeah.
No. None.
Is that Reg?
I know it's weird, but you know you can talk to me about him, right?
You know what? Things are good.
I just don't want to fuck it up.
Joe...
You and Reggie are dust from the same star.
You two are gonna be the Michelle and Barack of Black Caucus.
Trust me.
You're Barack, of course.
I can't be both?
So am I Sasha and Malia? How does this work?
Just Barack and Michelle. There's no kids in this scenario.
- Sans the children. - Okay.
Rashid is totally in love with you.
He's not.
We're friends.
Rashid's just always got my back.
Yeah, that's 'cause he's trying to hit it from the back.
- Reggie! - What? Babe...
I don't blame him. You know?
You were a real boss in Caucus today.
Coco couldn't even argue.
After all I've done, that's the thing I'm most proud of.
Hmm.
So, when you going to claim us like you claimed Caucus?
Like, publicly?
Yeah.
Little status update.
Press conference.
Just sky-write our names over campus.
You know, something subtle.
What is it?
Every time I rush to define a thing, it blows up in my face.
No bombs here.
If I'm going to be Reggie Green's girlfriend,
I want to be the best or it doesn't count.
It's just how I am.
Well, how you are is perfect.
Well, okay, I guess.
Oh, you got jokes.
You got jokes!
Done.
♪ Let's know we start something ♪
♪ I love you ♪
♪ You love me ♪
♪ Let's promise See what you grow into ♪
Reg!
Mr. Joelle Brooks!
What a dream come true.
You lucky dog.
Wait. Is "dog" cool?
It's... fine.
Reg.
You... You still have your ratty night-night shirt on.
It's five o'clock.
How come you're not excited, dog?
Okay. Dog is off the table now.
You just went official with a Nubian goddess.
You should be pumped.
What's wrong?
I'm glad the world knows she's my girl,
but it's just another day, bro.
Fresh cotton.
Can I say that?
It's more about what I'm seeing than what I'm hearing.
Hey, you want to talk to Moses together?
No, I'll just see you there.
Maybe.
Excuse you.
All right, so we're trying to figure out your couple name.
- Oh. - Roelle?
Jeggie.
- Grooks? - Ugh!
I keep trying to tell him, none of these are gonna work.
- Hater. - It's Reginelle, thank you.
If you're not going to accept the spot at Bechet,
I'm going to have to auction it off.
How can you even do that?
I can do anything.
I started six businesses as an undergraduate.
Think of it this way.
If you live in Bechet,
you can still go to your A-P meetings and whine about discrimination.
Is that what it's about? The constant whining?
Well, if you don't like the constant whining,
why are you here?
Moses is a huge name in the world of tech and I invested in 14 apps.
I've got to scope out the competition.
And I'm just here to judge the Americans.
Hey, Shid.
Joelle, can I ask your advice?
Uh, sure. Go for it.
Have you ever wanted something until the moment you get it?
Like chicken nuggets?
No. I... I got into Bechet House.
There's even an opening in Little Africa.
It would be nice to be around people like myself, but...
what do you think?
You can't go!
- I can't? - No!
Everyone loves you.
Okay.
Perhaps I must give the people what they want.
All right. All right, guys.
Thanks for coming.
Come on in. Come on in.
So let's just get this out of the way.
What's my deal?
Well, I was a student here,
and then a professor until just a few years ago
when I committed the most heinous of crimes.
I sold out.
No, no, I went west.
As a not-so-young, though I like to think, still-youthful man,
took my shot.
You can only study something so long
before you get to wondering if you can actually do it.
Mmm.
Lucky enough to find out I could when I ended up working
at a little company called Google.
See? Told you he's the shit.
Al, again, on this topic and so many others,
no one's arguing with you.
Even as I was at the top of my field,
I looked around and saw so few people who looked like me.
Like us.
And being black in Silicon Valley is only good if you're on the Warriors.
Did I miss this turning into a lecture hall?
I turned down some of the best VCs because...
I got tired of trying to relay the needs of our people
when investors are only interested in dollar signs.
There was, however, one condition to my return,
which Winchester has honored.
The campus police will officially be disarmed.
- That's what I'm talking 'bout! - Yes!
Where the fuck is the Reg of Reginelle?
- He'd love this. - Applaud yourselves,
because all the protesting and hard work you did,
you made it possible.
I'm so inspired by each and every one of you.
I got caught running away again.
She's so stupid!
I see your doc turned into an Emmy-winning drama.
Some extra bacon.
For your troubles.
Despite the constant threat of rape,
something about that simple act of kindness
made me horny as fuck.
It's like...
tragedy porn...
porn.
It's probably fine Reggie didn't go tonight, right?
Mmm. That man is moodier than an Eminem comeback album.
Ahh!
- What's better, read messages or none? - Well, I...
Would you rather know someone read your message and didn't respond...
- It just... - ...or would you rather just not know,
because I think I'd rather not know,
but I'd also like to know.
I think. I don't know.
Girl, I haven't seen you this spun out since freshman year finals.
I'm just in that early relationship phase where everything is roses, but...
also he might break up with you any minute because he really hates you.
You know that is completely insane, right?
Yeah, I'm crazy.
- You don't want to finish? - Nope.
Yo.
Hey. Did you get my text earlier?
Yeah, yeah, I got it. I'm... I'm sorry.
I was waiting to hear about it from you in person.
It didn't seem like an answer situation.
Hey...
did I do something wrong?
Babe, everything's good.
I promise.
I just got caught up with some coding work.
Okay.
See you later to work on the caucus bylaws?
Yeah.
Have you gotten out of bed or moved in the last 12 hours?
Yeah.
Went to the bathroom, like, twice.
You know it's after 10:00?
Nigga, I got clocks.
I would prefer that you not use that word.
Okay.
Nigga, I got timepieces.
It's incredible
- you were able to get guns off campus. - Oh, shit!
- Why now? - I totally forgot.
To be honest, I was moved by a specific incident.
One of these so-called cops pulled a gun on a student
at a campus party,
and I had to do something.
What if my own yet-to-be-born son decides to come to Winchester?
It has to stop somewhere.
We'll be right back after this break.
You look quite prepared.
Prepared is one of my many middle names.
So is "Benjamina," unfortunately.
When we get back on the air,
I want to ask you some questions
- brought up in a recent think piece. - Okay.
Some people saw you leaving Winchester for Silicon Valley
as abandoning activism for capitalism,
and wonder if you coming back
is similarly financially motivated.
A publicity stunt.
Are you okay talking about that?
Black people who aren't doing anything
writing think pieces about black people who are.
It's like a cottage industry at this point.
Well,
obviously, I'd... I'd really like to talk about the app,
but it's... it's your show,
and I will talk about whatever you want.
Great.
Hi.
I'll just talk about the app.
Welcome back, everybody.
We're here with Moses Brown, tech and social justice guru.
And pretty decent dresser. Don't sell me short, now.
So, tell us more about the app you're developing, Best Mode.
I'll start with what sounds like hyperbole, but it isn't.
Everyone in our community has experienced a massive amount of trauma,
but getting help for that trauma, whether due to
financial reasons or cultural pressures...
Black folks are far less likely to go find support.
So, I want to help the support find them.
We all have phones, right?
Now, at a few finger taps,
you can improve your life.
That's what Tinder and Grindr claim, but I'm guessing yours is different.
Yes, significantly.
Mine will get folks healthier.
Meditating, connecting them with people to talk to.
I want to create an environment where a traumatized mind can heal.
Thank you again.
Oh, yeah. You act like you've done this before.
Professor Brown?
I just wanted to formally introduce...
Reggie Green.
Come on, now. Come on, listen, you call me Moses.
Okay?
I cannot tell you what an honor it is to meet you, young man.
- For real? - Absolutely.
- You're a CS major, right? - Yeah.
All right. Listen, I would love to chop it up with you sometime.
- That is, if you're interested. - Oh, he is beyond interested.
I got this, babe.
I am beyond interested.
All right, good.
- Thank you again. - Thank you.
Well, there you are!
Aww, I missed that smile!
I promise, I haven't smiled since the last time I saw you.
We haven't done a lot since the last time you saw me.
♪ Put my hands around your shoulders ♪
♪ That's the way that I hold you ♪
♪ I could lay with you forever ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I'm falling every day Something came over me ♪
♪ I give you everything ♪
♪ Over and over ♪
♪ I'm falling every day ♪
♪ Something came over me ♪
♪ I give you everything ♪
♪ Over and over ♪
♪ Again ♪
♪ Over again ♪
♪ Over and over ♪
Hey.
So, I hope this doesn't freak you out,
but I checked out some of your, uh, student projects.
- Woke or Not I thought was quite... - Cute.
- I know. - No, no, no.
It was sophisticated, given the resources you had.
And I think it's important that people like you and I keep on developing.
- I've been trying. - Good. We need you.
Everyone thinks tech is neutral,
but there are real people with biases designing those algorithms.
Biased coders, biased numbers.
And it's not just, you know, the coders, but the data...
The data sets themselves, yes.
Yes, the data fields need diverse entries.
White and wealthy data isn't, and... and shouldn't...
it can't be standard data, right?
I've been saying that for years.
- Excuse me, Professor Brown. - Yeah?
Hi, I just wanted to say that your lecture on Ethics in Technology
was the most stimulating two hours I've ever spent on this campus.
Anyway, I thought you might enjoy a nice hot muffin.
It's super moist.
[chuckles[
I thought teachers got apples.
Oh, that's a bit cliché, don't you think?
Plus, Muffy... muffin.
Get it?
I get it.
But I don't... I don't need the muffin top
that Muffy's muffin makes.
You're in great shape. I think you can afford it.
Enjoy it. Goodbye.
I'm sorry.
You know,
the same thing that happened to you at that party happened to me.
When I was a professor here.
Fuck.
Campus cops ran up on me going into my house.
Pulled a gun on me, handcuffs, everything.
I'm so sorry.
While it was happening, I looked across the street and I see this...
old white lady peeking through her window.
And...
turns out In-The-Window Wendy...
called the cops because I looked suspicious.
I never told anyone that, but that's...
why I left.
Maybe this is too personal, but...
have you ever felt...
like you had everything you ever wanted and you still couldn't get out of bed?
I didn't realize it at the time, but...
I had a broken heart.
It's crazy that being back here is what I needed to put it back together.
And when I woke up, my roommate's cigarette had burned a hole in the paper,
eliminating n over two plus one, leaving...
A, greater than n over two?
- No. - I know I shouldn't admit that, but alas,
the secret to my success.
Man, I heard Turing cracked German encryption the same way.
He has been here since we grabbed a tea before lab.
We have truly lost him.
Pining over American girls?
Eating salad for dinner?
No, that's not dinner. That's what my dinner eats for dinner.
You know, I have not seen him and Joelle together since before
they went public.
If they're Facebook official, then why are you even bothering?
You know, the secret of social media
is that people always pretend to be happy
about the things with which they are most insecure.
I'm counting on that.
One of my apps is going to be the next Facebook,
without the gross incompetence or fascism.
Best Mode is a no-cost accessible way
to integrate self-care into your daily routine,
geared to the way we use social media.
Wow.
The UI looks dope.
My life feels better already, man.
I tried to minimize offload tasks, it needs some decluttering,
but it's a work-in-progress.
I can't wait to dive in.
- Ah. I should take this. - Yeah. Go ahead.
I am so sorry. I lost track of time.
And... And, Joe, you were right.
This dude is amazing.
Uh, that's great.
I finished the bylaws, by the way.
Fuck.
It wasn't that much work.
Um...
I'm sorry.
Meet... Meet me at my place and I can go over it later?
No need, but, um...
sure.
I'll see you there.
Oh, hey, Shid.
May I have a moment of your time?
- Totally good on the bylaws, Shid. - It's not that.
I feel nervous with what I am about to say,
but taking the page from Al's book,
I will speak recklessly without thinking and hope I don't get punched in the face.
You're way less punchable than Al.
I am in love with you.
I have been since...
I don't even know.
Probably since the day we met.
You are...
he said, hoping he's not humiliating himself...
just perfect.
I just wanted you to know.
Whatever you want to do with this information is your business.
Rashid, I'm with Reggie. You know that.
I am aware of this.
But I can't help but notice he isn't here.
In fact,
I haven't seen him with you at all these days.
- I think you deserve better... - Rashid, let me stop you there.
You don't know anything about me and Reggie,
and we're totally fine.
Okay, whether you see it or not, we're fine.
And to clarify a point I didn't think I'd have to say out loud,
this is never going to happen.
I just don't see you that way.
I am so sorry, baby.
How was Moses?
Amazing.
Okay, he gave me a beta version of his app,
and it's a legit concept.
It programs daily activities into your schedule
that help promote the well-being
of your mind, your body, and your spirit,
and... and your soul, and people need this.
You don't even understand how crazy it is.
People will love this. It's insane.
Woo-hoo!